Lord of All – Jose villanueva

““Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?” – Luke 6:46

“God is the Lord and Savior.” There’s a reason why Lord comes first before Savior. 

I never have seen it coming. But it did come.
I arrived at church partially refreshed (well, at least physically…I was still thinking the world deprived me of sleep and instead gave me stress to work on so I had no churning to do with mushy emotions). I was smiling. I was laughing. But I was not really feeling. I was about this close to falling into a deep cliff of uncertainty and once again, I was sure I’d be lost.
I’d be lost. I’d be lost. No. I was lost. I was lost again. I never knew that thought would come tome like a roaring lion and devour me whole.
And I found myself, lifting my hands and suddenly kneeling. God was there. He was in front of me. He was actually telling me, “son, follow me. follow me. follow me.”
.
.
.
.
.
Yesterday, I decided I had to cry. The normal stress-reliever. I had to cry. But I wouldn’t. I had to sob and weep and break down and scream and do all those stuffs just to prove that I was still sane. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t. I did not know why I wanted to cry, but I just felt the urged to just fall into tears.
After that, I was smiling. And I knew I was lost, like how lost you are as you ponder into my thoughts. If you thought I was insane for writing all these things like I have this cloud of thoughts playing inside my mind, then you’ve guessed it, I was in this kind of lost situation.
I was lost because I was following myself.
I was lost because I was following other people.
I was lost because I was following what other people might tell about me.
I was lost because I was following the perks of being a Christian.
I was lost because I was following the great effect of God’s gifts.
I was lost because I was following the image that I had projected inside of me.
I was lost because I was following other people.
I was lost because I was following myself.
I never really cared about God.
I cared about God because I cared about how glorious I would become in front of other people.
I cared about God because I decided to let God mold my heart to an image where others would see how victorious I had become.
I cared about God because I focused on myself. On me. On I. On the one who is in the mirror.
I never really cared about God.
And I was lost inside my doubts, my intentions of pure selfishness, my purpose of pure evil. I was lost.
But He found me. He ran towards me. He spoke to me. He told me, “Son, follow me.”

Follow God. I was not really following God but I was only seeing His grace abound in me while I projected a path for me. I was not really focusing on him but I was focusing on myself of being a good Christian. A mighty warrior. A disciple of Him. I was not really focusing on God.
But God focused on me. He gave His love for me. He gave his grace for me. He gave me freedom. He gave me hope. He gave me peace. He gave me everything I have needed. The King who decided to conquer sin has proved that love knows no bounds. He knows no bounds. He never focused on Him. He focused on me. He died on the cross 2000 years ago just for me to be saved. And now He asks, “son, would you follow me?”
Just as He gave the two sinners beside him when he was crucified on the cross the choice to believe in “the King of the Jews”.
Just as He tore His clothes and gave His holy robe to us just so we are made worthy of the Love of God.
Just as He let the soldiers spit on Him and never decided to fight them back.
Just as He let the people mock Him as He pulled His cross towards the Hill of Cavalry.
Because He loved me. He loves us. He did it all for me. And now He is asking, “son would you follow me?”

“Lord, I am having trouble with following You. I am having trouble in setting my bounds for I have involuntary spur of the moments of following myself and focusing on me being the best Christian in town. I am taking the glory away from you. I am stealing all the glory.”

But still, He insisted. Follow me. Follow me. He loved me.
This Sunday, it’s not about the fear.
This Sunday, it’s not about discouragements.
This Sunday, it’s about pride. Me. I. Myself. The Self that I just wanted to remove. But in doing so, I am putting myself in a situation where I would be the main protagonist. A journey into the selfless world is a journey into the purely selfish world.

This Sunday, it’s about Jesus’ Lordship. It’s about Him. And His Lordship.

Then I found myself kneeling before him. Not to show the other Christians that I am doing this to show how I am so willing to surrender. But as an act of surrender. “Lord, I am yours. I am yours forever.”

This is not about me. This is all about God. He is Lord. But I was making myself Lord.
I was not really trusting Him in everything.
I was not really making Him the center of it all.

But Jesus, You made us Your first priority. Everything that You say is out of love. Not out of control but out of pure Love. 🙂 Although I failed, He does not forsake me in my failures. He loves me as much as He loved me 2000 years ago. He loves me even as much as He loved me 1 gazillion years ago.
And He asks for me to follow Him not because of anything, but because He loves me.

“Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.” – 2 Timothy 2:15 There’s no other people’s perception. But God uses people. There’s no social standing. But God uses authority and leadership. There’s no me. But God uses me. There’s no we. But God uses us.

Hmm… 🙂 Yey. I just wanted to share this. I’m praying that useless and tricky questions of the enemy would just flush out of me. And I’m praying for you also. To you who reads this, I would like to re-quote Luke 6:46. I would like to know some of your stories too and some of your insights about this.

God Bless you! 🙂

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s