I need you to soften my heart,

to break me apart

I need you to open my eyes

and see that you’re shaping my life

These syllables have constantly rung through my ears since this week started. But I never get used to this. At first, I am at awe of having the lyrics play in my mind for infinite times but now I get it. I needed this. I needed to chant this. I needed to say this. I needed this. 

Recently I’ve been in constant ups and downs and through hoops that I never imagined I would go through. Who would when you thought you’re in the light of justice and morality? It’s sweet to know that you are battling to make everything good by doing whatever it takes to crash evil out of the society. But I was wrong. I never should have thought that destroying another person would bring me to the greater heights of things. 

Yes, we maybe right but it’s not always “The ends justify the means.” No it was never like that. In the middle of it, you just have to respect the persons involved. Every person — not blatantly spewing out words against them just to emphasize how ineffective they have become as a person. 

Saturday was the day that God snapped me out of the idealistic point of view. Son, here is the real battle. 

But it was Friday that He tried to tell me that something’s coming. I posted this on my Facebook timeline out of nowhere, but probably thinking of the same thoughts. 

it’s more courageous to surrender than to fight aggressively. it’s braver to know that you are feeble than to know that you are strong enough to face the battle. we are weak. but God will make us strong. why is it braver and courageous? because it is our pride that we have dwelt with not the monsters steering your world outside. when we are removed of our pride, we are left naked in the battle–that’s where courage comes in. and more importantly, that’s where faith is strengthened. 

Exodus 14:14 says “The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” be still. let your pride down. and battle the fights with the Lord leading you the way. 


It’s funny how everything would be so…’coincidental’. Yes, God moves in super natural ways even if it takes using your hands and mind without you knowing really. And it’s amazing how He had told me yesterday that I am a religious Christian person rather than a disciple of Jesus. That was a pang in my heart. Really. 

To be a disciple of Jesus, we have to stand up with Him as our foundation, with the gospel as our weapon and with our faith as our shield. At all costs, it is Jesus that we should follow and we should base on. Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes, even if it is paying the price of the whole group abandoning you or kicking you out from the team. It does not matter. If God speaks to us, God speaks to us. We should follow. 

And more importantly, what could Jesus have done? The most important question. 

I am redeemed. 🙂 Because He is a great God. 


One thought on “Redeemed

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