It’s not that easy to accept this, especially when it seeps in subconsciously or worse, ‘metaphorically’ in your life.
When all the events conspire into one to make one grand story, you suddenly realize how lost you have become. How you needed someone to just erase what you have acted or said or chose. And you realize, you’re a complete failure–an entity that needs no existence in this world.
This world is a harsh one, yet it transcends to its utmost beauty. It is still the Earth that you tried to belong into, yet you feel you are not part of it. Or maybe you’re just making it all up in your mind. Maybe you’re just caught up by the negativeness in life that you tell yourself that your life is but a waste. Maybe you’re just pressed by so much force–the kind of pressure the kills you in a wide scope.
Or maybe you lack the feeling of importance. Maybe you lack the feeling that you belong in this world. Or maybe, you really don’t belong in this world. That out of the blue, you have transpired to take up some space.
Or maybe you’re not doing enough. Maybe you’re not enough. Maybe you can’t be enough.
Maybe you are what you are not. Maybe you are not. Maybe. Just maybe.
I’m in serious condition now, and I need help. 😦